Firstly, a very happy new year to everyone, and as the joke goes amongst most Afghans, belated birthday greetings!
We finally got around to convening our first public meeting of 2013, and I have to say, it was great to see so many new faces. On behalf of the core team, I would like to thank everyone who, despite the miserable weather travelled from far and wide to be a part of it. Thanks also to Raj and Mohini Sapra, who hosted the meeting in their wonderful pub and went out of their way to make sure everything went smoothly. While I'm on the subject, I have to say, the juicy, succulent chicken biryani served at the Great Western Pub is to die for.
Thanks also to Nirdeep for taking down the meeting notes; clearly and concisely, seeing through the waffle, the banter and the general chit-chat. I think you have a job for life now.
Anyway, this is what went down...
First time attendees were appraised of the purpose of Exemplaris, a short run-down of the history behind Exemplaris, what we stand for, what our aims are, how we seek to help our community and how we can be realistic about what we seek to achieve. The consensus was that we should do what we can to encourage communication between children & parents and parents & other parents, as a starting point.
We then proceeded to move on to the 10 aims of Exemplaris:
01. English/ESOL and ICT training: This emerged as an important need from our experience of Sewa Day. Many parents and senior citizens expressed their frustration over not being able to converse in English and asked if there was something we as a group could do to run English-speaking classes and basic ICT training. We also discussed how people are reluctant to avail themselves of various services provided by local councils, mainly due to the language barrier and lack of self-confidence. All we now need is volunteers and premises to carry out this service.
02. Politics: Given the sizeable community we have here in the UK, particularly in London, we see very little political awareness and participation. Politics affects us all, government policies have an impact on our lives whether we like it or not and it is important that we, as a community put ourselves in a position where have a voice in the political discourse. We would like to generate interest in local and national politics amongst the young generation and would love to see an Afghan-Sikh councillor or even an MP in the near future.
03. Outdated and Irrelevant traditions, Siyalees, etc: Of late, we have seen some activity amongst groups of elders and community seniors who are organising meetings and trying to arrive at a consensus on how we conduct ourselves as a community. This is very welcome and we fully support all efforts and respect all opinions from all sides. The more we talk about it, the better we will get at it.
04. Marriages Outside The Immediate Berardri: Usually a taboo subject, but this is 2013. There are some wonderful examples of inter-beradri marriages, and more should be encouraged. As a group we felt that divisions along caste or surname lines are irrelevant. As a minority group in the UK, we must do what we can to improve and foster better relations between families. We cannot afford to be tribal any more. We hope that elders and senior members of our community will take the lead on this.
05. Education: A lot needs to be done to enable our young children to make informed choices about the kind of subjects they should choose at GCSE, 6th Form, college or university. Fortunately, we have a lot of expertise in members of our community and would like to set up a service that everyone can use. All we now need is volunteers and premises to carry out this service.
06. Gender Discrimination: Again, a thorny subject but an important one. Employability and in some cases, education among ethnic minority women is very poor and is often discouraged. This needs to change. Many studies and a lot of research has been done on the levels of frustration and feelings of worthlessness and the associated lack of confidence among women trapped in their homes, unable to study or work, or even cultivate a hobby. Apart from the depression and loss of self confidence it brings, it has severe, detrimental long term effects on children, who crave role models. Instances of women being forced to give up work or education as soon as they get married are common and very disturbing. It is hoped that our elders and seniors take the lead in encouraging the participation of women in all walks of life.
07. Health & Healthy Living: We may experiment with the odd boiled vegetable every now and then, but in the end, we want our red meat and desi ghee-laden parantha. Awareness of healthy food is quite poor in our community, and it is not made any easier given the number of mehmanis and daavats we have to attend. It is important that we increase awareness about this, hold regular camps or events, share recipes and tips, and spread the bad news about salt, lack of exercise, and sedentary lifestyles. We are fortunate that we have, within our group, doctors, dieticians, pathology scientists and fitness & yoga instructors. We should do what we can to encourage people to live healthier lives.
08. Careers Advice: The UK has been in recession since 2008, austerity measures are biting into people's livelihoods, benefits are being cut, curbed and curtailed as a luxury the country cannot afford any more. Graduates are working in supermarket checkouts - the scenario is bleak in the UK. Our community could use a careers advisory service, which Exemplaris hopes to provide. We have the expertise, we have the skills, the jobs ARE out there. We must help anyone that needs it! All we now need is volunteers and premises to carry out this service.
09. Extra Curricular Activities: While education and work occupy most of our time, there is very little by way of activities that our parents and their children are into. A typical evening entertaining guests in an Afghan-Sikh household is all about food - usually snacks and booze, followed by aash. Served up after 11 PM. While this is fun most of the time, it does get tiresome and repetitive. We would like to encourage everyone to take up other activities - a bowling league, a football league, visits to museums & art galleries, go-karting, paragliding, painting, creative writing, performance arts. This will engender greater bonding between parents and children and other parents as well. The world is our oyster.
10. Arbitration & Mediation Services: Another one we hope our elders and senior citizens will take lead of. One of the pitfalls of modern living is the rising number of family feuds and couples falling out. This is a difficult subject, but what can we do to help them, without seeming to interfere with their lives?
OTHER ITEMS
The attendees brought up the following new points for discussion, which are as follows:
01. Foster Care: It is sad when a child is removed from its parents and taken into care by social services. While Social Services try to place such children in a safe and loving household, it is never guaranteed that they will remain in touch with their roots and their community. We have no control over this, but it was suggested that we encourage families who are able to register themselves as foster carers. Not only is this a good source of income while providing a child with a loving home, it is something we can be proud of doing.
02. Sexual Predators: In recent months the prevalence of sexual predators in the UK has made a lot of news. We would like to help increase awareness within our community - parents and children alike about how we can remain safe, what signs to look out for, what to do if we suspect something and how can we be sure our children are safe online.
03. Domestic Violence: A taboo subject again, but it is there, staring us in the face, challenging us to do something about it. While no one is in favour of interfering in other people's lives or naming and shaming people, it is vital that women and children (or men) experiencing this vile behaviour are fully informed of their rights and the services available to them. We need to raise awareness and we need to make clear that this is not acceptable in a civilised society.
04. Sikhs in Afghanistan: The recent documentary titled Mission Afghanistan, produced by Pritpal Singh (click here to see it on You Tube) and funded by the Guru Nanak Darbar, has once again brought to the fore the plight of those left behind in the turmoil in Afghanistan. We are pleased that the Guru Nanak Darbar has initiated immediate action on this. As a community we must do whatever we can within our power to help them.
05: Proposed Event For Easter: Following two successful (and stressful!!) events last year - the Charity Talent Show and Sewa Day, it is time we planned another event. A post will be made on the Facebook group wall, asking for ideas on what we could organise next.
06. Video Podcasts: It was suggested we highlight social issues by creating video podcasts, posting them on our Facebook group and inviting opinions. This, it was felt would increase participation and generate greater interest.
07. Regular Public Meetings: We have decided that public meetings for members of Exemplaris should be a regular event, about once a month. More information about these meetings will be posted on the group wall.
08. Expand Exemplaris: We need more members. We need more members in the core group who can devote time, effort and expertise. We need leaders and emerging leaders who can take responsibility of any of the areas highlighted above. We need to agree on a formal structure and areas of responsibility We would like more people to be involved, to contribute their time and knowledge and help take our society forward.
